2016
Right now:
I am totally without physical pain. I am not hungry or thirsty. The air I’m breathing is deliciously fresh. The spring weather’s gorgeous, and I’ve been outside–walking Leo and gardening. My skin is perfectly comfortable–neither hot nor cold.
A breeze from the window occasionally brushes over me. I can see a squirrel in the blooming Horse Chestnut outside my bedroom. The house is even relatively tidy.
I have half an hour before I need to start getting ready to go to a dance class.
Livia is healthy and happy and our relationship is strong. I have no man-drama niggling at me.
I can rest in all this. Rest in all this even knowing that Vaughn is not here –not physically. But he is not suffering. Much of me believes he is happy and at peace.
I can rest in this–now–the way it is. I don’t have to follow my mind on a trail in search of misery.
Vaughn's Mom 