18 June 2016
I’m feeling strangely normal today, or at least how I imagine ‘normal’ people might feel. The time is not rushing or dragging. I don’t feel depressed. Nor do I feel elated. I just feel kind of here. I wonder if depression and elation are ways of not being in the present.
I cried a bit last night, and I felt rather down today when I walked with Julie and she talked about Anthony and his girlfriend–how I wish I could talk about Vaughn and his girlfriend. When I came home I felt tired and had to resist my bed’s call.
But I went outside and did some work, ate when I was hungry, and now just feel kind of normal. Didn’t even feel like a glass of wine for dinner.
I’m not berating myself; I’m not fluffing myself up.
Weird–maybe it’s just the weather. Feels like summer’s here.
Vaughn's Mom 