Running

28 August 2016

The fact is, I have been running away from it.

Not that there’s any escaping.

It’s always there, waiting.

I drink and watch television and eat sugar.

And it just waits.

And if I keep drinking and watching television and eating sugar that’s what my life will be. An evasion.

Not even an evasion; more of a burial–a half-burial–a half life.  Avoiding living life fully so I don’t have to experience the pain.

Not EVEN that: a burying of myself WITHOUT getting any relief. Drinking and watching television and eating sugar, all the while knowing the pain is still there. Throwing myself against the door to keep the pain away, but it just leaks in around the sides.

I have to open the door, accept this pain, really surrender to it–honor it, if I ever hope to move forward in my life.